I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
