We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I need to calm my uterus...
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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