Just fell off a train. Bad.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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