Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize