I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
