Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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