Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
