I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
