I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
