Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
