i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
