Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
