bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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