fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
