There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
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