Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
