found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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