dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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