So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
