i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
