if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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