just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
