It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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