How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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