Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
