It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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