Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize