IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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