yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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