The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
