The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
