oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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