My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
