LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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