"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
