I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
