i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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