I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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