I wanna passion pit in your ass
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
