Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
