Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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