I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
