I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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