He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
