she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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