How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Randomize
