After last night, I could never be a politician.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize