she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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