around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Randomize
