lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
