that's an acceptable place to lick
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
