It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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