she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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