Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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