We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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