yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
A+ Viking dick
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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