i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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