I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
