Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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