"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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