Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
When did angry sex become our thing?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
